wanted to tell you how i eat the tootsie roll pops. it’s important. i take out a grape one, an orange one, a chocolate one, then a cherry one. that’s the order i like them, from least to best, cherry’s best. then i eat them in that order, till there’s a scattering of empty sticks with wrappers on the end across my bedside table. usually i only eat four. but sometimes i eat my four and i think: more. but when i think ‘more’ i don’t want to eat the grape and the orange ones, fuck the grape and the orange ones, i skip right to the chocolate and the cherry, sometimes fuck the chocolate, just cherry cherry cherry. after a while, though, i run out of cherry, have to eat grapeorangechocolate, then i run out of chocolate, have to eat grapeorange cause that’s all that’s left, and then i feel bereft and wonder about myself.